SHITTY BRUNCH AT PORTLAND VARIETY

What a horrible brunch experience.

I am sorry Portland Variety. Overpriced, small portions average service. This was such a let down of an dining experience. You have such a good location / patio too. If only you would up your game I would come again on a nice weekend afternoon. Too bad, I won’t be coming back, Bar Wellington owns you like no tomorrow. Let me break it all down as to why you should not come here (at least for brunch).

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Fail # 1 – Shitty Coffee.

I am not claiming to be an expert in Coffee. I don’t drink it that much. But I do like to drink on the weekends when we have brunch, calms me down (yes I am weird). Compared to the other brunch places, the coffee here is watery and for a lack of better words, pure shit. It wasn’t even hot. Fuck you. Fail.

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Watery Coffee

Fail # 2 – pricey small ass portions.

If you’ve read my blog before you know I hate small ass meals. Especially small ass meals that costs me an arm and a leg. I ordered the egg benny smoked salmon in a croissant, costing me 18 dollars. It was small as fuck. I was so hungry after. I am still hungry right now just typing this out – not because it was delicious but because it’s so damn small. The croissant was nice and soft to be fair, but the eggs weren’t that good. Just a fail overall in both quantity and quality.

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Fail # 3 – you did not impress Life Boss

Life boss is Australian. Australian loves their Avocado with toast. So when you have this on your menu you know she’s going to order it. Too bad you don’t know how to flavor the avocado because there was no taste to it. It was also small as fuck (see fail # 2). You know you really suck when life boss doesn’t like your food.

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Don’t come here. That is my suggestion.

Written from Toronto, Home on May 26, 2019



Categories: Toronto

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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