Foodgasm definition: A pleasurable sensation from eating food.
You’ve never heard of this term before?
Let me ask you a couple of questions:
Think you can never get an orgasmic feeling from eating food?
Think you can never cry over food?
Think food can never make you feel like you are in heaven?
Think Sex is the only thing that can give you orgasmic sensations?-Okay, this is a bit too much. Cross this off.
Think you can’t have euphoric feelings while eating food?
Well sir / madam, you are wrong!
I experienced this foodgasm sensation first hand while eating at the Nathan Outlaw Seafood Restaurant in the Burj Al Arab in Dubai.
The food there was simply, uh mazing.
My mouth was literally getting “wet” from writing this post -> another dirty lame joke, can ignore me now.
Before I start with the food though, let me
warm you up with some foreplay show you how epic this restaurant is:
From the website: “Hotel’s subtly lit seafood restaurant with an underwater feel thanks to a wall-to-ceiling aquarium”.
Yes. You read that right.
There is a damn aquarium in the restaurant.
And this was no normal aquarium.
This was a kick ass aquarium.
Why is it so kick ass?
Because based on Choi’s dining experience with the ladies, this shit will impress the hell out of her.
Hell, you might even get “lucky” and get some “take out” later – I hope I don’t get reported to wordpress.
Seriously, I love aquariums. I can stare at fishes (pretty sure there is no plural for fish) for hours and hours. So mesmerizing. So romantic.
But I will never have them as pets.
Because they scare the shit out of me when they die. Floating lifelessly upside down.
Gives me goose bumps just thinking about that shit.
You know what also gives me the goosebumps?
Eating seafood in front of the aquarium. We humans have no mercy. We are literally eating their brothers and sisters in front of them.
A hypothetical conversation with the waitress might go like this:
Waitress: how was the food Choi?
Choi: The fish was was damn delicious!
Waitress: Oh yes, it was the one that swam by you 10 minutes ago.
What assholes we are.
Alright, fuck all the other shit. It’s time to get HORNY FOR FOOD! IT’S TIME FOR FOODGASM!
- First up! Lobster Risotto. THIS IS MY LOVER. GAVE ME NON-STOP FOODGASM (in my mouth and belly).
- SCALLOPS ALSO GAVE MY BELLY FOODGASM. Note – usually scallops taste like eraser but man this one is damn good!
- OYSTER. FOODGASM. OYSTER MAKES YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE. HAH! Please don’t flag my blog wordpress…
- FRESH FISH FOR MY COLLEAGUE. SHE DIDN’T COMMENT BUT I AM SURE SHE WAS FOODGASMING!!!!!!!
- My lover makes another experience! FOODGASM AGAIN.
- Soup. Fucking delicious shit my god it took me five minutes to down this lovely little guy because I wanted to savor every single second in my mouth just making sure I have tasted everything and not missing a single moment. FOODGASM!
THE SEAFOOD HERE WAS SO FRESH I CAN TASTE IT EVEN NOW.
You stole my heart Nathan Outlaw.
Oh wow, Nathan Outlaw is an actual chef from England. An award winning chef that is.
Damn Brother, I love you. I wish you could cook for me everyday.
Love this place.
Written from Dubai, Sheraton Grand on April 18 2017